I felt alive on the mountain— 
named it God
felt comfort around my tears— 
named it God

they keep promising God     here

I remember the moments
without blankets or endorphins—
I named them hoping

I wanted God—
can’t say I didn’t want you, God

but I don’t know love
that won’t speak back;
at least try
to speak clear

I keep seeing light
wondering who it belongs to;
still crying in the shower
when I think of you
still crying under covers
when I think of me     hoping

(they keep promising love	here
but they’re not here     either)